I didn’t plan it this way, but it seems only appropriate that my final post in this series on personal finances is posted on Christmas Day.
Why?
Because it is about giving, and for those of us who are Christians, Christmas Day represents the greatest gift ever given – Emmanuel, God with us in the person Jesus Christ.
You may not believe in God, or if you do, you may not see him as a benevolent God, a giving God. It may always seem like He is taking something away. I would suggest to you that the only thing God takes away from us is our sin. It is the process through which this happens that is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Then again, sore muscles are a necessary result of a good workout.
So what does this have to do with personal finances?
God is a giver, so we, being designed in His image, are designed to be givers.
Or, for those of you who may hold different beliefs or come from different religious backgrounds, perhaps this will be a more approachable truth:
Humans are at their best when they have learned to give well. (Tweet this)
What Does Giving Well Look Like?
There are stages for every area of our lives that have a learning or growth curve. Giving is no exception.
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We give to make ourselves feel good.
At this stage we give primarily because it makes us feel good. This is not bad or wrong, just merely the early stages of learning to give. The down side of this stage is that if your sole purpose for giving is to make yourself feel good, you will ultimately withhold giving anything, because no one seems to appreciate the gifts with the appropriate level of recognition.
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We give to make others feel good, which makes us feel good in return.
In this stage, we start to shift our focus to making others feel good, but we still look for our own warm, fuzzy feeling as proof that we’ve “done good.”
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We give because we are compelled to help, even if it requires a sacrifice.
This stage sees us giving out of empathy – we are compelled to help by identifying with the needs of others. The big change at this level, is that we are willing to sacrifice some of our own need to feel good, as well as time, money, or items that we otherwise would have used for ourselves.
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We give because we recognize that what we have was never ours to begin with; holding on to it only brings us misery, whereas giving brings joy.
At this stage, giving is done with joy from the gifts we have been given. At this stage the giver is detached from material possessions, not in a destructive way (i.e. it is not suggested that one toss their family out into the street to give their house to the homeless) , but in a way that allows an effortless ability to share and give with seeming abandon. This comes from the knowledge that what we have was never ours to begin with. It was entrusted to us, but we were never owners. We trust that our needs will be met.
There is no wrong stage here – just a place we start and a place which we strive to attain. Some stages may take longer than others, and some of us may stay longer in a stage than someone else. it doesn’t matter – as long as you are giving.
The Secret Motive
I’m sure you figured it out by now. The Secret Motive to good personal finances is Giving. Learn to give and your relationship to money will change. Learn to give well and you will learn to avoid anything that gets in the way of your ability to give, like piles of debt.
Whether or not you agree with me, see eye to eye with me, or believe something else entirely, it’s okay.
Just keep giving.