Tag: generosity

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Wealth and Spirituality

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It was more difficult than I thought it would be to write this particular post in this series on wealth.  So I decided to start with a simple question.

How do I define spirituality?

Okay, not so simple.  It’s a word that means many different things to many different people.

For the purpose of this blog post I will define it this way:  Spirituality encompasses our morals and ethics, our capacity to love others as we love ourselves, our sense of justice and mercy, the level to which we are able to discern good from bad, the generosity, gratitude and grace we give, and a willingness to let everything go.

As I have mentioned in past posts, wealth is not just about money or material possessions, but also about being content.

Spirituality is tied to contentment and shapes how we interact with material wealth.  Material wealth and the allure of possessing more and more can negatively impact our spiritual health and contentment, but only if we become spiritually lazy.

Spiritual health is like physical health – it takes exercise and training to maintain.  More money and more possessions vie for our focus and time.  We start to worry about whether it is enough, where we can get more, how easy it might be to lose it all, where to store it all, and how to keep track of it all.  Over time we become more self focused and wary of those around us.  Are they trying to get at my stuff?  We even start to call close friendships into question while we make poor choices in new ones.

Yuck.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Spiritual health leads to contentment, and contentment is the key to true wealth.

Contentment is the ability to let things go.  Possessions as well as fears, ideologies, grudges, dreams and on and on.  I have only just begun to experience being content, but with practice it allows us to go places and experience things that we never would have otherwise.

Being content leads to a growing desire to live simply (this does not mean poorly!) letting go of the need for more stuff simply because it is shiny and available and everyone else has one (according to the advertisers).

Living simply means living on less, and as a result leaving more to save.  More to save means, you guessed it, more to build wealth and share.

Those most content in life have what they need, are satisfied with what they have in any circumstance, and enjoy sharing what they have with others.  They are not burdened by any of their possessions.  The few possessions they have are chosen because of the joy they bring.

Tend to your spirituality – it is like a garden, untended it grows wild with weeds and becomes ugly and overgrown, while properly tended it not only provides nourishment but beauty as well.

 

 

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Wealth. It’s more about gratitude than greed.

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Wealth. It's more about gratitude than greed

Wealth isn’t so much what we have or how much, but about our acceptance of what we have, how we use it, whether we give it freely or hoard it, and whether we are a like a stagnant pond or a flowing river, where wealth flows in, through and out again.

Wealth is what we leave behind, not what we take with us, although realizing true wealth in this life assures us of wealth to come in the next, whatever you might believe comes next.

My word for 2016 was wealth.  I bought Benjamin Graham’s book, The Intelligent Investor, planning to learn about building financial wealth.  I still haven’t read it.  My experience with understanding wealth during 2016 turned out to be less about money (and the greed often associated with it) and more about relationships and accepting the generosity of others.

Relationship

I started spending every Sunday with my godson’s family, sharing meals, spending time in conversations, helping out with projects in the yard, sharing the couch with one of two full sized german shepherds,  basically becoming part of the family.  This made me more wealthy than any amount of money I could have made.  It’s also cool to pull up outside the house and hear two little rascals shouting, “Dave Tornstrom’s here!  Dave Tornstrom’s here!” (Yes they use my full name.  Every time.  I think it’s hysterical since most of my friends from college on only knew me by my nickname, Klondike.)

I also reconnected with old friends when they invited me to their son’s 1st birthday party.  I have been back many weekends for dinner, campfires, and helping out with the odd errand or two.  If I had not accepted the generosity of their hospitality I would never have experienced the joy of hearing a now two year old yell, “Klondike!,” whenever I show up.

A good deal of time last summer was spent outside with friends mountain biking, boating, and camping, reconnecting with my love of the outdoors.  This was magnified in my mind later in the fall, when I was feeling somewhat more melancholy than usual, and I realized this was the first summer in about 4-5 years that my parents and I had not spent a week in the Berkshires hiking and soaking in the quiet of a remote cottage.

The Generosity of Others

It may seem strange, but I was also learning to accept the generosity of others and just enjoy it.  I am one of those types who, when given something, feels compelled to pay it back, or return the favor.  Thus whenever someone was generous with me I felt indebted to them.  I can’t stand being indebted to anyone or anything. So most of the time I learned to simply refuse what was offered, or awkwardly attempt to return the favor immediately.  This is not wealth.

Part of being truly wealthy is understanding how to accept the generosity of others well.  Generosity well received is a generous response to the giver.  In this way we learn the value of being generous to others.  True generosity is giving with no expectation of anything in return, except perhaps gratitude. Gratitude like love, does no harm. But even when gratitude is withheld, generosity is not nullified. In fact generosity in the face of ingratitude is the most generous, as it is easy to give when a thank-you is expected, but much harder when it is not.

I guess you could say by learning to accept generosity, what I was really learning was the practice of gratitude.  I have adopted the practice used by many of listing at least 3 things I am grateful for everyday as part of my morning journal.  It is a simple but profound exercise.

Conclusion

What I discovered is true wealth is much more about fostering healthy relationships, engaging in community with neighbors, being generous, and expressing gratitude with every breath we breathe, than it is about money or possessions.

Wealth is yours to decide and yours to define, but yours only for this lifetime.

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3 Simple Principles for Wealth and Happiness

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I know, this is a pretty big claim, but yep, I’m saying it’s pretty much this easy.

It’s also this hard.

 

1. Spend less than you earn.

If you are spending more than you earn you have only three options to correct this: spend less, earn more, or do both.

Our in-come must be greater than our out-go.
– Pretty much every treasurer in history

2. Set some aside.

Take a small percentage off the top of every paycheck and use it for savings:  emergency funds, sinking funds, vacation, retirement, etc.

“A part of everything you earn is yours to keep.”
– George Clason, The Richest Man in Babylon

3. Give generously from what you have.

Giving doesn’t always have to be financial, but giving financially helps us maintain a proper and healthy attitude toward money.

Happiness comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth… Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it.
– Sir John Templeton

 

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Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of More

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We can’t be content with more if we have not yet learned to be content with less.

Interestingly, once we become content with less we seldom want more, but are better equipped to manage it when it inevitably comes our way.

When we are content with less, more seems to come our way, and we are more likely to give it away or share it with others. Our generosity increases as our contentment grows. When we no longer find ourselves in the pursuit of more, and begin to pursue less, our focus inevitable shifts away from ourselves and towards others.

No one can be generous while they are selfish. We can appear generous to others, but if we have ulterior motives – like having others think we are generous – this is selfish. When we do something for our own benefit it is by nature a selfish act.

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The Secret Motive Behind Good Personal Finances

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blog-image-2015-12-25I didn’t plan it this way, but it seems only appropriate that my final post in this series on personal finances is posted on Christmas Day.

Why?

Because it is about giving, and for those of us who are Christians, Christmas Day represents the greatest gift ever given – Emmanuel, God with us in the person Jesus Christ.

You may not believe in God, or if you do, you may not see him as a benevolent God, a giving God.  It may always seem like He is taking something away.  I would suggest to you that the only thing God takes away from us is our sin.  It is the process through which this happens that is uncomfortable and sometimes painful.  Then again, sore muscles are a necessary result of a good workout.

So what does this have to do with personal finances?

God is a giver, so we, being designed in His image, are designed to be givers.

Or, for those of you who may hold different beliefs or come from different religious backgrounds, perhaps this will be a more approachable truth:

Humans are at their best when they have learned to give well.  (Tweet this)

What Does Giving Well Look Like?

There are stages for every area of our lives that have a learning or growth curve.   Giving is no exception.

  • We give to make ourselves feel good.

At this stage we give primarily because it makes us feel good.  This is not bad or wrong, just merely the early stages of learning to give.  The down side of this stage is that if your sole purpose for giving is to make yourself feel good, you will ultimately withhold giving anything, because no one seems to appreciate the gifts with the appropriate level of recognition.

  • We give to make others feel good, which makes us feel good in return.

In this stage, we start to shift our focus to making others feel good, but we still look for our own warm, fuzzy feeling as proof that we’ve “done good.”

  • We give because we are compelled to help, even if it requires a sacrifice.

This stage sees us giving out of empathy – we are compelled to help by identifying with the needs of others.  The big change at this level, is that we are willing to sacrifice some of our own need to feel good, as well as time, money, or items that we otherwise would have used for ourselves.

  • We give because we recognize that what we have was never ours to begin with; holding on to it only brings us misery, whereas giving brings joy.

At this stage, giving is done with joy from the gifts we have been given.  At this stage the giver is detached from material possessions, not in a destructive way (i.e. it is not suggested that one toss their family out into the street to give their house to the homeless) , but in a way that allows an effortless ability to share and give with seeming abandon.  This comes from the knowledge that what we have was never ours to begin with.  It was entrusted to us, but we were never owners.  We trust that our needs will be met.

There is no wrong stage here – just a place we start and a place which we strive to attain.  Some stages may take longer than others, and some of us may stay longer in a stage than someone else.  it doesn’t matter – as long as you are giving.

The Secret Motive

I’m sure you figured it out by now.  The Secret Motive to good personal finances is Giving.  Learn to give and your relationship to money will change.  Learn to give well and you will learn to avoid anything that gets in the way of your ability to give, like piles of debt.

Whether or not you agree with me, see eye to eye with me, or believe something else entirely, it’s okay.

Just keep giving.