Contentment & Letting Go

For me to find true wealth I needed to give up some things:

  • I gave up a very secure job with great pay.
  • I gave up excess clothing.
  • I gave up saying yes to everything my parents or friends were getting rid of and offered to me.
  • I gave up my entire 2000 + CD collection, once my pride and joy.

Now I am giving up most of my musical instruments and recording equipment which has been sitting around collecting dust, taking up room, and hardly ever used.  In a sense I am giving up a dream as well.

However, I am of the firm belief that dreams can be reborn if they are meant to be.  Sometimes we have to clear away our past attempts to force our dreams to happen, and start back again with the simple dream. This is part of the path to contentment.

Contentment is partly about being able to let go of everything and partly finding joy in what you have. Holding everything you have loosely, but not carelessly, and letting go of what does not add joy.

If we hold on too tightly we risk loosing ourselves in the thing we are holding onto whether it be a house, a car, or a relationship. We also run the risk of losing the very thing we are trying so hard to hold onto, or losing everything else in our obsession with this one thing.

In relationships we run the risk of driving the other person away.

If we hold things carelessly, we do not assign proper value to them.  In this case we run the risk of losing them to neglect, or being weighed down by what we cannot get rid of because its value to anyone else has decreased due to our neglect.  In the case of a house, boat or car, we purchase it at a certain value, don’t take proper care of it, its value drops and we find ourselves stuck with an eyesore that now we owe more on than people are willing to pay.

If we hold relationships carelessly they will disappear, leaving holes in our lives that we try to fill with other relationships and other things. Continuing in this pattern we spiral downward into a state of despair.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, and there are ways to recover our sense of contentment, through setting boundaries in relationships, decluttering or tidying our homes, turning off the incessant voices that tell us what we need, need, need in order to be something better, and carving out time for stillness and silence every day.

Sometimes I find contentment in simply being alive.

“Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.”

Wealth and Spirituality

It was more difficult than I thought it would be to write this particular post in this series on wealth.  So I decided to start with a simple question.

How do I define spirituality?

Okay, not so simple.  It’s a word that means many different things to many different people.

For the purpose of this blog post I will define it this way:  Spirituality encompasses our morals and ethics, our capacity to love others as we love ourselves, our sense of justice and mercy, the level to which we are able to discern good from bad, the generosity, gratitude and grace we give, and a willingness to let everything go.

As I have mentioned in past posts, wealth is not just about money or material possessions, but also about being content.

Spirituality is tied to contentment and shapes how we interact with material wealth.  Material wealth and the allure of possessing more and more can negatively impact our spiritual health and contentment, but only if we become spiritually lazy.

Spiritual health is like physical health – it takes exercise and training to maintain.  More money and more possessions vie for our focus and time.  We start to worry about whether it is enough, where we can get more, how easy it might be to lose it all, where to store it all, and how to keep track of it all.  Over time we become more self focused and wary of those around us.  Are they trying to get at my stuff?  We even start to call close friendships into question while we make poor choices in new ones.

Yuck.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Spiritual health leads to contentment, and contentment is the key to true wealth.

Contentment is the ability to let things go.  Possessions as well as fears, ideologies, grudges, dreams and on and on.  I have only just begun to experience being content, but with practice it allows us to go places and experience things that we never would have otherwise.

Being content leads to a growing desire to live simply (this does not mean poorly!) letting go of the need for more stuff simply because it is shiny and available and everyone else has one (according to the advertisers).

Living simply means living on less, and as a result leaving more to save.  More to save means, you guessed it, more to build wealth and share.

Those most content in life have what they need, are satisfied with what they have in any circumstance, and enjoy sharing what they have with others.  They are not burdened by any of their possessions.  The few possessions they have are chosen because of the joy they bring.

Tend to your spirituality – it is like a garden, untended it grows wild with weeds and becomes ugly and overgrown, while properly tended it not only provides nourishment but beauty as well.

 

 

Not just a Season of Giving

The Christmas holiday season has long been considered the season of giving.

  • Parents give toys and other gifts to their children,
  • friends and coworkers buy small gifts for each other in a spirit of goodwill, and
  • charitable organizations see an increase in fund raising as people are subtly guilted into being more generous and as tax accountants are encouraging clients to increase deductions before the tax year ends.

We quote sayings and scriptures like, “it is better to give than to receive,” and cry while watching heartfelt movies like Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol when Scrooge gives away his money, and comment to our kids how giving increases the heart while watching Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  All of these things are good.

In fact, in the Christian tradition, this is the time we celebrate the birth of the Christ child, often referred to as the greatest gift the world has ever known.

But yet, something has been forgotten, and something is amiss in this candy cane, Ho-Ho-Ho Santa down the chimney fairyland.  Can you guess what it is?

Knowing how to receive.

Yes, that’s right.  In a sense, knowing how to receive well is how we make a gift complete.  When a gift is received well it brings great joy to the giver.

Think of the last gift you truly gave – one where you had the perfect idea and just could not wait to see the joy on their face when you gave it to them.

Then you hear, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept this,” or “you didn’t have to do that,” (I confess I did this just last week), or your gift is barely acknowledged, and your heart sinks a little bit.

It hurts, doesn’t it?  Now think back to a time where maybe you reacted that way to a gift someone had given you.  Ouch, right?

Now consider that God gave us the gift of His only Son, who laid down his life for our sins.  Yet we tend to receive this gift poorly by promising all the things we will do for God as a way to earn this gift.  But gifts are not earned.  By trying to earn this gift we have in essence promised to pay for the gift, and thus spoil its true intent.

If we learn to receive well, I think we in turn understand how to truly give well.  And ultimately we come to understand for ourselves just why giving is so much better than receiving: because of the joy it returns to us.

In Receiving well we allow the giver to experience the full Joy of Giving.

This Christmas season, reflect on the gifts you receive and receive them well, returning a blessing to the giver.  In the same way reflect on the gift of Christ given to us, and receive Him well, giving glory to the Father.