Tag: Hope

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Single Life: A Blessing (not a curse!)

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SingleLife badge

SingleLife (TM)

I am currently writing a book on living single and the unique blessings that come to us through living the single life and that come through us to others through the way we approach and live out the single life.

As a visually-oriented person who has always been fascinated by typography and text based logos, I was playing around with different thoughts, words, phrases and fonts related to this theme of singleness, and I eventually stumbled upon the image you see here.  I am hoping that this, or some improved version, might become a badge of honor at some point for those of us who choose to boldly embrace the single life.

To describe in summary what I believe are the blessings of the single life, I have chosen to lay them out in the vein of one of my favorite movies, Fight Club, as the Rules of SingleLife:

  1. SingleLife is not LonelyLife
  2. SingleLife is about intentional community
  3. SingleLife is freedom to pursue deeper relationship with God
  4. SingleLife is freedom to take action in pursuit of justice
  5. SingleLife is accepting a unique call to do “Awesome”

Of course, there are no real rules to the single life, but I hope these serve as a guideline for starting to live a SingleLife with purpose and meaning.  These “rules” will hopefully be improved upon over time and I intend to talk about each more specifically over time (and in much more detail in the book).

There is no curse in being single – your family is wherever and with whomever you create community.  My hope is that your community not only includes other people but also a deep relationship with God that gives hope, freedom and a passion for justice.

Please leave feedback on any of this – whether you have additional “rules” to add, you love/hate the badge image, you think I’m just another crazy single person trying to compensate for [fill in the blank], etc.   I love being single, and am constantly striving to live the SingleLife the way the apostle Paul advocated (I said “striving to” – I am nowhere near there yet) in his letter to the Corinthians:

I wish that all were as I myself am.  But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.
(1 Corinthians 7:7-8)

Join me on this journey of living the SingleLife with purpose!

 

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Letting Go: Fear

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Fear.  It can stop us in our tracks, it can send us into hiding, or it can present an opportunity to achieve the impossible.

Take ancient Israel for example, the Israel that Moses led out of Egypt to the edge of the Red Sea.  This nation of newly freed, former slaves of Egypt, were faced with a dilemma:  the Red Sea ahead, and Pharaoh and the Egyptian army closing in behind (you know, a rock and an hard place).  Exodus 14 tells us they were terrified and cried out to the Lord.  Listen to what they said:

They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

I thought of this the other day when contemplating my current job search.  “Why did I ever leave my old job?  I would have been better off staying there than leaving and now facing a difficult job search.”  Maybe you’re facing a similar situation, whether it be related to career, relationships, health or something else.

Guess what happens next?  After promising deliverance, God basically tells the Israelites to quit crying to Him about it and get a move on!  It’s kind of like the swift-kick-in-the-rear my mom used to give me when I was being particularly ornery or stubborn.  God calls the Israelites “stiff-necked.”  Pretty much the same thing.

Don’t just stand there, do something!

So, when I caught myself thinking how good I had it back then, I recalled to mind why I left, and looked to the steps I needed to take forward, confident that the Lord will provide.

Contrast the Israelites with another famous Biblical character, David.  This youngest of 7 brothers and a shepherd (who is selected by the Lord to be king, but is all but forgotten or overlooked by his father when the prophet Samuel is sent to find him), is sent by his father to visit his brothers with provisions where they are encamped for battle against Goliath and the Philistines (1 Samuel 17).

David hears Goliath taunting the Israelites and the Lord, and is shocked that no one will go and fight him.  So he offers to do it himself!  Wasn’t he afraid?  Of course he likely experienced fear, but his confidence came from a past record of facing and overcoming fear, having killed lions and bears with his bare hands and his sling while protecting his herds.  Of course, David’s faith in the Lord was a factor as well, as he saw his past victories as not being his, but of the Lord.

So remember, you have faced fear before, and you will face it again.  Whether it is the same old fear (that you are holding on to) or a new fear (that will inevitably come) depends largely on whether you let it stop you in your tracks, or you let it go and tackle it head on, moving forward.

Finally, when you have faced a fear and moved forward, take a moment to register in your mind what just happened and how you feel on the other side of fear.  Recall this moment the next time you face fear, and it might just provide you the swift kick you need to get moving and let it go.

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Letting Go: Negative Thinking

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Rest assured, I am not a “positivity freak,” or even one that fully buys into the power of positive thinking on its own merit.  But I do believe the following proverb is true:

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”
Proverbs 23:7

 

Thus, if you think negative thoughts, you will be a negative person, and if you think positive thoughts you will be a positive person.  Sort of.  Just thinking something doesn’t make it so.  You have to believe it to feel it.  Of course believing something doesn’t necessarily make it true either.

That’s where faith comes in to play.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1

 

We can think positive thoughts, and we can believe or hope positive things will happen, but there is no substance to our attempts absent faith.  Faith is what happens when all hope seems in vain, yet we hold fast, though what we hope for remains out of sight.

So how do we accomplish this?  For starters, just let go.  Let go of the negative thoughts – picture them as a lead weights in a backpack that you are just going to drop on the ground and leave.  Then focus on Jesus and keep your focus on Him.  The author of Hebrews puts it this way:

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2

 

The good news?  Jesus both starts and finishes our faith!  All we need to do is let go and run to him.

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Proverbs 13:11-12

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11 Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, But he who gathers by labor will increase.

12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

New King James Version (NKJV)

BibleGateway.com