Category: Personal Development

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Wealth & Personality

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When I first thought of this particular blog post I had no idea what kind of image I would find to accompany it.  When I entered in a few key search words in Adobe Spark, numerous images of colored pencils came up.

Before I get into the meat of today’s post, I want to share something with you.  As a child, and even now and again in my adult years, I loved drawing.  Especially with pencil.  It just had a texture and feel that I loved.  Then I took an art class my senior year in high school and fell in love with colored pencils.  I created my personal masterpiece (okay, I consider it the best art piece I have ever done) in that class with colored pencil.

So searching for an appropriate image, these colored pencil images really stuck out because regardless of which colors I might like the best, I needed all of them, and sometimes even found new favorites.  The real fun started when I realized I could use several colors and blend them in sequence to match the colors I saw in front of me.

The picture you see with this post was perfect…not only did it show different colored pencils which could represent different personality types, it also featured a flower tucked between two of the pencils that I felt represented those personalities that have to be just a little different, who embrace life full on and whom we love to have in our lives (even if they aren’t the best with finances).  And thus we blend.

You may have guessed what this post is about if you’ve been following me for any length of time.

It’s about how our unique personalities influence our interaction with finances and wealth.

Most of us realized at an early age that some people were better at math than others, including ourselves (I admit this even with a BS in Mathematics).  At some point we also realized that some people were better with finances than others.  And they weren’t always the Math nerds (or the business majors).

So this post is about how personality drives our interaction with money and wealth more than intellect ever will.

We are all very different people, with different personalities, different personal tastes, and certainly different backgrounds.  What makes us think, then, that we will all encounter and deal with money the same way?

In the American culture we are brought up and educated that we are all individuals who can be whatever we want to be.  This is a lie.  Not that we cannot achieve what we seek to achieve, but not all of us are cut out to be astronauts, or FBI agents, or accountants, or computer programmers, or even entrepreneurs!

I would like to believe I am an entrepreneur, but I have had to deal with the fact that while I have entrepreneurial leanings, I am not an entrepreneur in the true sense.   I know because I am close friends with a few of them, and we are so different in many ways.

What I have figured out is that I complement true entrepreneurs because I easily grasp where they are going and can build the initial infrastructure to support them, although I would likely have analyzed the idea for years without ever acting on it if left to my own device.

But on to personalities – there are so many beautiful and crucial differences between us as humans.  Some of us are very serious about finances and spending categories and sticking to a budget, while others see finances merely as means to an end, not worried about going broke if we have experienced a memory of a lifetime.

I for one have struggled my entire life with this and am still learning to let go and simply accept when friends suggest last minute once in a lifetime adventures.  I have turned down numerous opportunities that many of my friends would have given me the money to experience.

My personality type tends toward self-sacrifice before asking friends, even to the point of extremes (thankfully, I am gradually learning how to accept the generosity of friends – not an easy task for my personality type).

I ought to at least talk about my personality type.  I am an INTJ on the Myers-Briggs/Keirsey Temperament Sorter and a 5 with a 4 wing on the Enneagram.  On the DISC profile I am a C with a strong S and dominantly C under stress.  In general terms I am an extremely introverted, very rational, process oriented individual who is also creative and fairly in tune with his emotions and understands how personalities interact on a primarily intellectual level – the emotional content is mostly understood through observation, study and knowledge of types.  (The links here are only suggestions and are not affiliate links – there are many places you can take the tests for free for initial findings – I do recommend paying for at least one of them as the paid results are often more enlightening).

So I happen to be decent at math and really good at a personal finances and how people interact with money.  But I desperately need friends to drag me out to experience things that I would never do on my own.  So a balance is always needed in dealing with money – save for the future without missing the opportunities to enjoy the present.

As this topic is quickly outpacing the length of most of my posts, I will draw things to a close here with a final thought, and an invitation for comments if you would like more on this topic.  I am only at the beginning of my understanding of how each personality type interacts with money and finances, but am willing to educate myself as needed to answer the call if there is further interest.

Final thought for this post:

You are who you are.  If you are terrible with money, you need someone in your life who is good with money.  If you are great with money, and maybe a little like me, you need people in your life who know how to live and experience life.

Sometimes they pick up the tab.  Sometimes you should.  Just don’t die rolling pennies alone.

 

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Wealth and Knowledge

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Many of you might believe wealthy people all have high IQs, or all people with high IQs are really wealthy (or ought to be).  What might surprise you is how many regular people just like you are are wealthy.

IQ is not a determining factor in one’s ability to acquire wealth.

In fact, acquiring and maintaining wealth has very little to do with head knowledge, and much more to do with behavior.  Disciplined behavior trumps a know-it-all every time.

Smart people regularly do stupid things with money and wealth, often losing everything.  Why?  Because they fool themselves into believing they are smarter than the market and everyone else, and there is no way they can lose.  More often there is no way they will win.

Yes, there are some rare individuals who are smart and disciplined and hit the jackpot, but they are extremely rare, and would be the first to admit they are guessing 80% of the time and working overtime to reduce the impact of the inevitable downside.

Knowledge

The most brilliant person in the world can live their entire life as a pauper.  Book smarts and head smarts are not effective for obtaining wealth on their own without action and calculated risk.

Knowledge can puff people up in their own minds and make them overconfident, taking action without calculating the risk, or it can cause analysis paralysis, calculating risk to the nth degree and taking action too late or never at all.

Knowledge is good, and it helps to be smart, but you don’t have to be a genius to become wealthy.

Behavior

Dave Ramsey, creator of Financial Peace University and best-selling author of The Total Money Makeover, talks about personal finances as being 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior.  Even if you aren’t a math major, you’d probably agree you could do more with $80 than with $20.  Four times as much.  Sometimes I just like to show of my math skills.

If there is any truth to this percentage split, then why on earth would we put so much emphasis on what we think we know instead of what we do?

Can anyone become wealthy (legally, you criminals) without saving at least some of their hard earned income?

Oh, of course, win the lottery.  Sure, they get a huge amount of money all at once, but it rarely makes them wealthy.  A quick online search turned up several articles citing the National Endowment for Financial Education as reporting 70% of windfall recipients end up broke.

70% is a lot closer to 80% than 20% if you catch my drift.  If you read the myriad articles about why lottery winners go broke, it’s pretty much all about their behavior.

Consider the following scenarios:

  1. Bob is a regular guy working hard to earn a decent income.  Bob decides at age 20 to save $100 a month for retirement and continues to do so until he reaches age 66, yielding an average 10% annual rate of return.
  2. Sam is also a regular guy working hard to earn a decent income.  Sam, however, has a plan.  At 20 years of age Sam starts spending $25 a week or $100 per month on lottery tickets, dreaming of that day when he’ll win the jackpot.  Of course, Sam wins sometimes, but breaking even is a long shot at best.  The odds are actually stacked against him ever breaking even. Yet he continues to play the lottery until he reaches age 66, and let’s say he hits a long shot and breaks even.

Can you guess which one retires wealthy?  Yep, it’s Bob.  Every time.

Bob invests a total $56,400 over 47 years and ends up with $1,151,000 in his retirement account at age 66.

If Sam breaks even, he ends up with the $56,400 he spent on lottery tickets and won back.

I like Bob’s way better, even if Sam hits the Jackpot.  Bob has built wealth through behavior and discipline and is not likely to lose his wealth.  Sam, however, has not developed the discipline or behaviors to use money wisely, and odds are he will lose everything long before he is ready to shuffle off this mortal coil.

Conclusion

Let the smart people take all the chances and risk losing everything while you stay disciplined and retire wealthy.

 

 

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Wealth and Work: Co-opted Someone Else’s Calling?

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Pursuing Someone Else’s Calling As Our Own

Have you ever wondered why you ended up in the career you are in?  Does it feel like you were pushed or pulled in that direction by other people?

If so, you may have co-opted someone else’s calling as your own.

Pushed

Sometimes we are pushed into a career or a particular vocation because our parents, teachers, or friends pushed us in that direction.  This push could be along the spectrum of forceful shove to gentle nudge.  They may have done it unawares.  Sometimes they knew exactly what they were doing.

Most of us can recall at least one story where a child was pressured to become the first doctor, lawyer or priest in the family.  Or to follow in their parents’ footsteps, regardless of talent or passion for the family business.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was pressured by his father to compose for years for people who did not appreciate his true talent.  Fortunately for all of us, Mozart eventually pushed back and pursued his love for opera.  This move destroyed his relationship with his father, but freed him to produce an unprecedented volume of compositions in a very short period of time.

Not all of us experience a strong push in our careers, but most of us have been influenced by our parents, teachers and friends because we love them and trust them.  We may have received slightly higher praise for efforts leading toward a favorable career versus a less favorable one.  Art is good as a hobby but no way to make a living; math, science and law are much more lucrative, responsible and secure.

Pulled

Others of us may not have been pushed so much as pulled.  We identified ourselves with someone so strongly that we followed in their footsteps – we wanted to be just like them.

In this case we adopted their vocation or calling as our own, and while some may experience success in doing so, others pursue a futile fantasy.  In either case, we deceive ourselves and deny who we are.

When I think back to my own childhood, I remember the admiration I had for my brother, who in his early teens joined the local Explorer’s club and began volunteering at the local ambulance corps.  It seemed so cool, and he enjoyed it so much, that I wanted to do it also.  So I joined the Explorer group after him without really thinking it through.   Fortunately, it didn’t take too long for me to realize my brother’s calling was not my own, and I eventually wandered down another path.  (I have wandered down quite a few other paths since then – in fact my calling could end up being “wanderer”).

Unlike being pushed – where we feel a sense of resisting or pushing back, being pulled can feel like a free fall, or give the sense of being off balance, as if we are about to fall on our face.

Path, Pace & Purpose

The solution here is not to make drastic changes or even blame anyone, but to take a moment to stand still and observe the paths available to you.  Which one feels right?  Now imagine that path merging with your current path for period of time.  You don’t always need to leave the path you are on to journey down another.

Go slow – find your own pace and move forward with grace as you stumble here or there.  As you find your balance you can quicken your pace – you are in control – but not so fast you miss where the path turns left or right down paths less and less traveled by.  Remain present and observe.

If you feel like you have been pushed into the career you are in at this moment, take some time to reflect back on when you felt pushed, observe the dynamic of what was going on in that moment, and uncover what it was we were being pushed away from as this may provide clues about our true calling.

If you feel more pulled than pushed, ask someone close to you who knows you well to reflect back what they see.  When pulled we often need others to help us see what we were running from, which is often another clue about our true calling.

When you have reflected a while, move forward with purpose.

 

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Working, Playing or Both

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“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both.”

– as attributed to James Michener

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Wealth and Work: Rather be doing something Else?

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Rather be doing something else?

Let’s face it – we all encounter this at some point in our work, no matter how fulfilling we may find it at times.  When our minds wander to other things we’d rather be doing, it may be due to burnout as I talked about in this previous post.

But other times it may be due to unresolved desire to pursue something else.

I struggled with this for years, working a day job in government finance and accounting, while my creative juices were getting little attention.  I would find ways to accommodate my creativity in designing reports, but that wasn’t enough.

I have always been fascinated by music, and played piano since 4th grade and french horn since 5th grade, adding guitar in my teens and buying my first of several electronic keyboards.  As new technology emerged around digital recording, I resolved to teach myself how to record, mix and master music on my PC (not a cheap hobby through the 90’s and into the new millenium!).

Later on, I also started a small record label and have released a total 7 records, the most recent one on vinyl – who knew we’d come full circle back to vinyl?

But, I digress – we are talking about wealth and work and the occasional pull we feel to do something else.

This is where hobbies, or avocations, come in (from the Latin avocare – “call away”).  When we get the feeling we’d rather be doing something else, we are being “called away” from our vocation or work to think about something else.  When this happens it is may be due to some aspect of ourselves that is not receiving the attention it deserves.

Instead of fighting this urge to do something else, it is important to pause for a moment and observe what it is we would rather be doing.  What is the call or pull that you are sensing?  This is a critical step – it may identify a new and distinct calling on your life, or it might identify a part of you that you have been neglecting.

Once we identify what is pulling at or calling us, it is important to schedule time to give it our full attention, even if it is only for half an hour.  It is important to actually schedule it, block out the time for it, and commit to doing it as scheduled.

The importance of scheduling is, once scheduled, the distraction of rather doing something else is diminished or even disappears.  This won’t work long term if you neglect to address it as scheduled.

The worst thing you can do is attempt to ignore and push through.  You only end up wasting energy fighting yourself, and both you and your work suffer.

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Wealth and Work: Are you Burned Out?

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Wealth & Work - Are You Burned Out?

Are you Burned Out?

We all experience burnout at some point.  I left a 17 year career because I sensed it creeping up on me.

At the time I left I had well over 15 years left before I could qualify for early retirement and I knew I could not last that long just for the full retirement benefits.  So I left, and even though my income has been substantially less, I am less stressed, much happier in general, and able to actually encounter the world in a way I would not have been able to if I had stayed.

I am not recommending you all go out and quit your jobs by any means, but I do have some recommendations from what I observed in looking back at my career that might have helped me avoid the impending burnout:  take vacations, observe a Sabbath day, and delegate more (read: do less).

Vacation

First things first, take a vacation!  Vacations (from the Latin vacare – “to be unoccupied”) are necessary to rejuvenate our mind, body and spirit.  We weren’t meant to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

And take an “unoccupied” vacation – don’t plan out an itinerary that rivals your pace at work!  Take a vacation where you unplug, spend time just reading, spend time outdoors just observing and soaking in the the fresh air and, hopefully, some natural sunlight.

Unplug from your phone, your TV and the internet, at least for the majority of the time.

If you are married, with or without children, enjoy the time with your family and spouse, allow yourselves all the flexibility in the world for that time. Linger longer somewhere that is enjoyable and leave the next destination for another time.

Be present for your spouse and family – don’t spend your vacation worrying about work.  It will still be there when you get back.

Taste the food.  I’m serious.  When was the last time you can remember tasting your food?

Try something you have never tried before.

When you return from vacation and before the relaxed calm wears off, take a look at your schedule and set some clear work boundaries.  Block out times for future vacations, family outings, time to read, time to spend outdoors, and set a specific time to end your work day, every day.

Sabbath

The Sabbath in the Judeo-Christian tradition has long been made out to be a day of restrictions, but it was meant to be a day of rest each week – a gift to us – a day that we did not have to toil under the curse but could trust that God would provide.

In New England sports vernacular, you might consider the Sabbath day as a “reverse the curse” day.

A Sabbath day is essential whether you are religious or not.  It is also difficult for many of us to observe properly.  Relaxation is an elusive concept for me, but as I continue to get older, I recognize its importance for my health more and more.

Think of your Sabbath day as the day you get to enjoy the fruits of your labors, spend time with family and friends, and experience the wonders of nature.  It should be a day to recharge your emotional and spiritual batteries, and give your brain and body a rest.

Treat it like a weekly vacation – unplug, be present with those around you, take a break from technology, enjoy some nature or even yard work (yes work of this sort is fine, as long as it rejuvenates you)!

Delegate More

We can all find things to delegate.  These are things that other people can do as well or even better than we can, and distract us from doing the one or two things that only we can do.

This is a lesson I didn’t learn until after I exited my previous career.  I took on way too much and got stuck in the self destructive mode of continuing to do things myself because it was faster and easier than training someone else to do it.

The fallacy in this is that I was killing myself to get all these things done, while the things only I could do were not getting the full attention they deserved.  One of these things was developing and leading my team.  I didn’t know how to draw the line between being productive and helping others be productive.

The first thing to do is set limits on your work hours and prioritize your work schedule to get your work done in that time.  This might mean clarifying with your boss whether the project you are working on takes priority over some status meeting, especially if you arrange for someone to brief you on anything important to your project.

Then take a hard look at the tasks you are still trying to cram into your schedule and ask yourself two questions.  Can someone else do it?   Is this task taking up time that could be better spent on those things that only I can do?

If you answered yes to both questions it is time to delegate.

Wrapping Up

Unplug.

Taste your food.

Be present in the moment with the people in your life.

Do less.

Do nothing, on purpose, at least once a week.

…and just plain smile more.

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Wealth and Work: In it for the Money?

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Work and Wealth: In it for the Money?

Are you doing your job just for the money?

Our jobs can easily become a simple means to an end.  We work to get paid so we can pay for shelter, clothing, food, transportation and a bunch of other things we may or may not need.

The good news is we have the power and the capacity to change our attitude toward our work, without needing to change the work itself.  Of course if you have an opportunity to change jobs to better align your work with your calling, by all means seize it.  In reality, those opportunities rarely present themselves if we haven’t already adjusted our attitude in our current situation.

We have the power and the capacity to change our attitude toward our work.  [Tweet]

A Simple Attitude Adjustment Exercise

For starters, try beginning your work day writing down different ways you can best serve your customers, clients, colleagues, supervisors, and anyone else you might interact with that day.  If thoughts come up like, “I’m not getting paid enough to do that,” or “that isn’t part of my job,” write those thoughts down on a separate column or page.

Review your lists and ask yourself

  • Which person would I rather work with?
  • Which person is more likely to be given more responsibility?
  • Which person is more likely to be promoted?

Make sure you follow through on at least one of the ideas for serving others during the day.

At the end of the day take 5 minutes to write down then names of those you served, and how you served them.  Reflect back on their responses.  How did it make you feel after serving someone well?  As you do this day after day you will find your passion for your work will slowly increase, and your concern about money decrease.

You may find that your change in attitude toward your work and your increased passion to serve others well will present new opportunities or promotions, and money will no longer be something you worry about.

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Wealth. It’s more about gratitude than greed.

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Wealth. It's more about gratitude than greed

Wealth isn’t so much what we have or how much, but about our acceptance of what we have, how we use it, whether we give it freely or hoard it, and whether we are a like a stagnant pond or a flowing river, where wealth flows in, through and out again.

Wealth is what we leave behind, not what we take with us, although realizing true wealth in this life assures us of wealth to come in the next, whatever you might believe comes next.

My word for 2016 was wealth.  I bought Benjamin Graham’s book, The Intelligent Investor, planning to learn about building financial wealth.  I still haven’t read it.  My experience with understanding wealth during 2016 turned out to be less about money (and the greed often associated with it) and more about relationships and accepting the generosity of others.

Relationship

I started spending every Sunday with my godson’s family, sharing meals, spending time in conversations, helping out with projects in the yard, sharing the couch with one of two full sized german shepherds,  basically becoming part of the family.  This made me more wealthy than any amount of money I could have made.  It’s also cool to pull up outside the house and hear two little rascals shouting, “Dave Tornstrom’s here!  Dave Tornstrom’s here!” (Yes they use my full name.  Every time.  I think it’s hysterical since most of my friends from college on only knew me by my nickname, Klondike.)

I also reconnected with old friends when they invited me to their son’s 1st birthday party.  I have been back many weekends for dinner, campfires, and helping out with the odd errand or two.  If I had not accepted the generosity of their hospitality I would never have experienced the joy of hearing a now two year old yell, “Klondike!,” whenever I show up.

A good deal of time last summer was spent outside with friends mountain biking, boating, and camping, reconnecting with my love of the outdoors.  This was magnified in my mind later in the fall, when I was feeling somewhat more melancholy than usual, and I realized this was the first summer in about 4-5 years that my parents and I had not spent a week in the Berkshires hiking and soaking in the quiet of a remote cottage.

The Generosity of Others

It may seem strange, but I was also learning to accept the generosity of others and just enjoy it.  I am one of those types who, when given something, feels compelled to pay it back, or return the favor.  Thus whenever someone was generous with me I felt indebted to them.  I can’t stand being indebted to anyone or anything. So most of the time I learned to simply refuse what was offered, or awkwardly attempt to return the favor immediately.  This is not wealth.

Part of being truly wealthy is understanding how to accept the generosity of others well.  Generosity well received is a generous response to the giver.  In this way we learn the value of being generous to others.  True generosity is giving with no expectation of anything in return, except perhaps gratitude. Gratitude like love, does no harm. But even when gratitude is withheld, generosity is not nullified. In fact generosity in the face of ingratitude is the most generous, as it is easy to give when a thank-you is expected, but much harder when it is not.

I guess you could say by learning to accept generosity, what I was really learning was the practice of gratitude.  I have adopted the practice used by many of listing at least 3 things I am grateful for everyday as part of my morning journal.  It is a simple but profound exercise.

Conclusion

What I discovered is true wealth is much more about fostering healthy relationships, engaging in community with neighbors, being generous, and expressing gratitude with every breath we breathe, than it is about money or possessions.

Wealth is yours to decide and yours to define, but yours only for this lifetime.